“Truth is God.” Mahatma Ghandi
In the many talks I have given about Healing Habits, many people have admitted to a wide variety of habits, from nail-biting to hair twirling, but only one person has had the courage to say “I lie.” I doubt that there is a person alive who can honestly say that they have never lied, even if only to themselves. “Its no problem,” when it is, or “I’ll do it tomorrow,” and then you don’t, or “no there is nothing wrong,” when there is, are all part of the web of lies we create, consciously or unconsciously.
It is interesting the dual meaning given to the word “lie.” On the one hand it denotes being horizontal and on the other to tell an untruth. Perhaps the link between the two meanings, comes from the Hittite word laggari, which means to “fall down.” Therefore, when we lie, we “fall down” spiritually if we go against our conscience, because to go against one’s conscience, is to create karma.
When we lie, most often our egos are in charge. Our egos want us to be seen to be wealthy, important, popular and powerful. If we perceive that the reality of our lives does not match this expectation, then lying becomes a way of creating the world our egos desire us to inhabit. Eventually the illusion and reality become so intertwined that even we may have trouble differentiating between the two. We start believing the illusion we have created and lie, without the slightest conscience.
The habitual liar’s habit may start as a small child, when like most children, we rely on our mothers to meet our needs. However, if our mothers, whether through lack of interest or circumstance, do not nurture us, we feel angry. We express this anger by yelling, which leads to sadness and finally to the resignation that our prime nurturer is not able to fulfill us. From then on, every time we cry because we are hungry and our cries remain unanswered, rather than face the reality that our mother is not there for us, we simply tell ourselves that we are not really hungry. We also feel that we are not worthy of having our needs met, and blame ourselves rather than admit our mother to be imperfect. Our self-esteem suffers or does not develop, and the lower our self-esteem, the greater our potential for lying.
The line between truth and dishonesty starts to blur and our pattern of lying becomes entrenched, as we seek to rebuild our self esteem through lies. Being caught up and not assuming responsibility for our lives, we look for someone else to blame. Consequently we remain victimized by the actions of others because it feels less threatening than confronting our own demons. Even if we are aware of our lying, we will justify our actions by saying, that “given the circumstances” we had no choice but to fabricate.
Do you lie in order to boost yourself? How well do you trust the process of life? Perhaps you lack trust both of yourself and others? Do you desire to avoid conflict and lie consequently? Do you lie to yourself rather than have to change as a consequence of being truthful?
When we live in our truth, we have the ability to manifest what we need in our lives because the centre of truth and manifestation in our bodies are the same, i.e. in the throat charka. In the Hindu scriptures* it is written that those who speak only the truth develop the ability to materialize their words, just as “In the beginning was the word.*” God symbolically “spoke” the world into being.
People who lie compulsively, are normally in denial and so do not see that they have
a problem. However if you have had the courage to recognize this pattern within yourself, here follow a few suggestions.
Keep a written record of every time you have lied, no matter how small it appeared to be. Then write down next to it what you believe your motivation for not being in your truth might have been. Were you motivated by fear? Greed? Inadequacy? Revenge? Desire to boost yourself? Do not judge yourself, simply acknowledge the lie and the motivation behind it. Have compassion for yourself. Then let it go. Forgive yourself or anyone concerned and move forward. Keeping this journal will increase your awareness of when you lie and the triggers that lead up to it. Acknowledge that each time you go against your conscience by lying you create karma for yourself. So next time someone asks you if their cheque is in the post, just say “I’m sorry it’s not yet” and thereby lay your karma and conscience (and not your spiritual progress) to rest.
* Yoga sutras 11:36
** John ch1vs1
The Girl who bit her Nails and the Man who was always Late by Ann Gadd
The Girl who bit her Nails and the Man who was always Late,’ offers insights into the reasons behind the way we behave. Habits are a great way of understanding how we are limiting ourselves; and, here, the author shows us ways to change and release the issues causing our habitual behaviours.Read More